Fighting fit

It was rather a shock for the Police Federation of England and Wales members who, like the Normington review suggests, may have been too busy backstabbing, infighting and plotting to notice Theresa May loading up her shotgun and preparing to give them both barrels.

Maybe it was the PFEW’s willingness to keep biting the hand that feeds it that prompted her ultimatum of reform or be reformed. Whatever the reason it was perhaps because no one was paying much attention to her that Theresa May’s annual speech to their conference seemed to have more effect than ever, though in purely monetary terms it is hard to see why.

A funding cut of £190,000 for an organisation that is sitting on more than £70 million is probably not enough to dull the shiny new Leatherhead leather sofas.

However, that the chair of the PFEW was decided at the flip of a coin, with both candidates receiving 15 votes, is particularly novel – perhaps the government should use it as a way to save the country some cash and toss a coin to see who is the next Prime Minister. It has got to be better than sitting through another night of election coverage on the television, not to mention the years of coalition chaos.

Speaking of which, Ukip announced huge gains in the European and local elections to compound their local election success last weekend. It will be interesting to see what happens the next time more than 33 per cent of the country turns out to vote.

The comments of a chap in the newspaper I read who, on being asked who he had supported, declared ‘Ukip and Millwall’. I’m slightly concerned that the combination of a rise in euroscepticism and the almost certain possibility of Roy Hodgson’s men overstretching themselves and taking an early bath means that there may well be a bigger police presence needed in Tower Hamlets than on the Copacabana after we crash out against some ‘foreigners who play the beautiful game more beautifully than we do’.

While our footballers are accused of being less skilled than their opponents, us officers have been told we are a pretty fit bunch. I had to laugh at an announcement by the College of Policing that issued the results of 30,000 fitness tests from forces across England and Wales. Astonishingly, 97 per cent of us passed, though given all the negative headlines the results created you would be forgiven for thinking it was the other way around.

You don’t need to be physically fit to be promoted, when the rare opportunity arises these days, such stoic support from senior officers for our stamina must be given with tongue firmly in cheek.

As I have a pressing engagement with a fitness instructor very soon, maybe I will leave that other donut for tomorrow.

Yours,

Stitch

stitchley@policeprofessional.com

@SOStitchley