‘Catch’

Ben Bradley, aged 28, the MP for Mansfield and recently appointed as Tory Vice-Chairman for Youth, stands accused of having, in his own youth, in 2011, written a blog in which he encouraged police brutality after the London riots. Mr Bradley also asked: “What incentive do the police have to forcibly drag looters out of shops, or take down the people throwing bricks at them, when they know that if the kid falls and bangs his head they could end up in prison with their whole lives destroyed?” This was probably a rhetorical question, and in any case it remains unanswered. The police will of course accept any incentives that are on offer, we have not had any for a while. He has apologised for his “inappropriate” language, and says his outlook on life had changed since he went into marriage and fatherhood, two relatively adult activities. He is currently preparing apologies for other youthful blogs, in which he suggested that benefit claimants should undergo vasectomies “before we’re drowning in a vast sea of unemployed wasters”. This won’t go down to well if he is placed in charge of either Health or Works and Pensions. The NHS won’t welcome a program of restraining and sterilising benefit claimants, and selecting them will also be a challenge for the DWP. In the meantime, he could, if he is still looking for alternative approaches to dealing with rioters, do worse than check out the `aggressive and domineering` deputy chief constable of Essex, Mathew Horne. Mr Horne has just been found guilty on three counts of misconduct, by a professional standards board, which recommended he should be given management advice. He stood accused of swearing, clenching his fists, pushing an officer into a desk and throwing a foam stress ball which left his target with a red mark on the neck area. This may be the kind of determined if somewhat random approach that rioters deserve, it appears to have terrified his fellow senior officers. The fickle finger of fate is veering away from dismissal, but if the worst comes to the worst it may be that Mr Horne moves on to a glittering career in baseball, once his tossing action has been properly assessed. Other alternatives for dealing with his tricky youth portfolio could be to turn to consultants, no doubt ex-chief officers with the required expertise. Lord Hogan-Howe claims to have put many of the 2011 rioters behind bars but will be too expensive for Conservative Central Office right now and already has his peerage. He could always see if Sir Stephen House, the former Police Scotland chief constable, is free. He put the fear of god into many, however, my sources tell me he is lined up for a return to frontline action under his former colleague and now commissioner Cressida Dick. Ah well, Sir Stephen’s successor may become available any time soon and for anyone to have ventured north of the border and have six allegations made against them in less than two years must be just the ticket for Mr Bradley. Once whoever has put in place interventions and sorted the UK youth issue out, Mr Bradley can go in with a team of unpaid volunteers in search of quivering wrecks with red marks on their neck, round them up, subject them to group therapy and get them all to sing Kumbaya. Yours, Stitch stitchley@policeprofessional.com @SOStitchley