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In need of a check-up
It is alleged that thousands of British police officers have not had up-to-date background checks, and may not be suitable to serve.
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Ner ner ner ner ner ner...
Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary has found out that some police forces are putting the public at risk by rationing their response as they struggle with cutbacks, “downgrading” 999 calls so that they can answer them more slowly, reducing numbers of detectives, arresting fewer people, assessing incidents of domestic violence over the phone, avoiding classifying violent gangs and organised crime, shelving crimes without proper investigation and failing to enter 67,000 people suspected of crimes onto the police national computer. Other than that, things are going as well as is to be expected.
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Excuse me while I take my socks off
Shadow Home Secretary Diane Abbott has defended her disastrous performance in a radio interview in which she attempted to explain Labour’s policing policy. Diane suggested that her party would recruit either 25,000 or 250,000 officers a year, who would be paid what she initially claimed would be £30 a year, which would have been low even for a Conservative Government proposal, before increasing her offer to what translated into a salary of £8,000 (before tax).
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Wrongly plain
Her Majesty’s Chief Inspector of Constabulary Sir Thomas Winsor has apologised for what he describes as his ‘plainly wrong’ claims that, while detectives take trauma home with them at the end of a shift, response officers do not.
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'That's amore'
Whitehaven, Cumbria was identified by a 2014 Public Health England survey as the fattest borough in England, with 76 per cent of the population classed as obese.
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The scum wot won it
The election starting gun has sounded and the race to be the most popular something or other has commenced. Theresa May says the election has been called to provide stability and security during the Brexit period, despite a total lack of instability and insecurity thus far. Still, witches can famously foretell the future, so who are we humans to argue?
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I just called... to say...
North Wales Police has given a burglar a mobile phone to help him get reintegrated into the community.
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Follow the leader
The Home Office is consulting on replacing chief constables with external applicants (‘consultation’ in Home Office terms means ‘endorsement’).
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Crumbs!
A Derbyshire officer by the name of PC Rothwell has recently emerged from a gross misconduct hearing, after confessing that he had paid for two packets of biscuits that a homeless prolific shoplifter had stolen from a Poundland store.
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Hold on, I'm coming
The Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) has managed to publish an annual report and accounts, which would be praiseworthy indeed, if not for the fact that they cover the financial year of 2015/16.
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